The last month or so I have been resisting some things in my life that I am not happy about. How this shows up in my body is physical symptoms in my digestion and in tension that causes back aches. This of course creates greater resistance and irritation with everyday chores and responsibilities. Today I was reminded of the principal of surrender… one of those life lessons that comes up… and the principal of higher good.

I watched a short film called “A Monk’s Awakening” from Spiritual Cinema Circle, which reminded me never to surrender to fear. Never run after anything or try to escape anything is the lesson of the film. Of course if the universe isn’t timely… it also isn’t subtle. I got confirmation of this message in a Ralph Marston message today about seeing the positive possibilities that always come from what we think may be a negative and a message from the Universe to just be who I am and stop striving.

Hmmm… Uncle already! I get it… so here it goes… I am happy and blessed to have lost one financial support… I can now be open for many others! I am happy to have my son making his own choices and having the opportunity to live the consequences!

Where can you surrender to what is and see the blessing of a situation that at first blush… seems negative? What messages is the universe sending? What in your physical body shows up? What awakening and opening is available to you?

BE- Awakening

Happy Valentine’s Day! Today, I was reminded of a Christmas story that bears remembering on this day of love. Remember the little drummer boy? He had no gift to bring the infant king and so he felt ashamed at missing the opportunity to give… until he realized he had his drum and his gift became playing his best! He played his best song… He played it the most enthusiastically he ever played before! His gift was his best… a gift of himself. Risking rejection, he played his heart out!

What if giving our best is all that is required of us to give the best gift possible? Can you give better than that? If I know my purpose, and I am living it to my fullest, giving my best me to the world around me, is there anything of more value that I have? I think not. So many times I find myself holding back on people. I don’t say what I want to say, I am content smiling. When I enthusiastically play my best song, live my purpose and give my best, when I risk rejection and throw my heart out, I connect with others! I make a difference! And so do you!

You have something amazing in you to give to others! You have a great purpose in being here and a gift to give! You are magnificent! You are amazing! Chocolates, flowers, gifts… they are all nice, and giving yourself… That’s giving your best and will make the most difference to your sweetheart today… and to the world.

BE- your best you!

Dear Leaders:

It is my pleasure to invite you to Leadership 2010 – San Antonio Texas!

Here is some information on Leadership…

What Leadership takes is to have a BHAG which is a Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal!
…What’s your BHAG!
…What’s your dream!

What I can tell you about leadership is that it is excellent fun and adventure with people you can really relate to… other leaders and winners in their fields… and the experience of creating amazing results all in the context of fabulous leadership, coaching and teamwork!

It will change your life… that is my promise. You get training in the core distinctions of leadership in an experimental hands-on seminar, then 10 weeks of individual and team coaching to accomplish a team service project to internalize the key distinctions of leadership and create an experience of what is possible with vision, leadership and teamwork.

After 9 weeks you come back for more training and internalization of what leadership distinctions were learned/ created and prepare for what is next in your life, and how to use this in preparing for a future… living the distinctions of leadership and the art of amazing possibilities.

Dates: Jan 16-17 weekend 1 and March 20-21

Leaders don’t wait! Check out these fabulous, experienced coaches at Resource Realizations: http://www.resourcerealizations.com/products/seminars/leadership/coaches/
We can help get you to your dreams, accomplish those BHAGs, creat a life you love and get over the rest!

I look forward to being with you all soon in San Antonio!

Sincerely,

Leslie Gunterson C.P.C.
2010 Leadership Coach

…change it! If you don’t wake up in the morning looking forward to your day then it matters not what your doing… in my mind, that’s not success. What can you do that you absolutely love? What jump starts your passion? What can you get excited about? That’s your dream and vision.

What small steps can you take to move in the direction of creating the life you really life? Why small steps? Because each step we take toward something we love is giving us emotions such as hope and something to look forward to. The joy is in the journey creating something we love long before we get there.

Likewise, waking up to dread and hopelessness robs us of hope and something to look forward to. Our day is lifeless, boring and more like and existence than I life. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the length. I have lived both of these scenarios and can leave you with this blessing…

…may you live all of the days of your life!

BE

Barriers to performance hold us back from being who we want to be, doing what makes us happy and having what we want in our lives. When we recognize our barriers then we can move through them. The first step in change is awareness: seeing what is holding us back. Next we get to identify how this behavior still works for us, then we can decide what possibilities are open to us if we change it and choose something else.

Our barriers allow us to stick with our stories, excuses, and justifications and the same results. We all have our stories. Einstein told us that the definition of insanity is doing the same things expecting different results. Barriers show up in our bodies (stomach, head, nerves), in our language (should, Have to, always, never, could), in our attitudes (complaining, apathy), in negative self talk and in our behaviors.

Take a few moments and look at the list and notice which barriers show up in your life.

Dissociation, apathy
Playing the Con, exaggerating, manipulating,
Self-righteousness, feeling superior, judgmental
Playing the Victim, accusing, blaming
Feeling Regret, worthless
Doubt, self-doubt, doubting others
Confusion
Resentment, revenge motivated
“Trying” never fully committed
Lacking Follow-through, breaks promises
Cynicism, chronic mistrust
Resignation, giving up
Hopelessness, worrying/hoping about future or the past
Excusing, explaining, defending, justifying

Some ideas to ponder – What is my pay off? How does it support me? Do I still want it in my life? What resource state can I choose instead?

Example: confusion is one of my favorite barriers to performance, when I am in confusion I do not have to take action therefore I get to blame others for my situation. I don’t want this, since I am not happy when I am confused and a victim. A resource state is to focus on what I want and take one step toward that today.

BE -purposeful

In reading “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,” by Debbie Ford this week I am realizing that one of my purposes and those of my clients is to live all of the authentic parts of ourselves. This means embracing the things about me that I try to deny and repress. Sometimes I am selfish, greedy and domineering. These are traits that I have as a human. We all have positive and negative traits. It is in denying our negative traits that we give them power over us.

We hide them always wanting to be good… they flair up without us wanting them too. Then we feel bad about not being able to control our negative traits showing. We feel bad about who we are. When we embrace these traits and acknowledge them as a part of our authentic selves we can thrive in wholeness.

Today is Peace Day at school and a fine young senior gave a speech about his commitment to being a peace maker. I was so pleased that he recognized the wholeness in himself when he said that he doesn’t always have positive peace practices, but sometimes he chooses negative traits. He then acknowledged his goal of being a peace maker most of the time. I bet he will be a peacemaker more often because of his wholeness, rather than if he is fragmented.

BE -whole

I learned something new this week from my son. He is twenty, not quite a babe, yet in some ways wise beyond his years. He was telling me of a situation in which he offended someone. It was pretty minor to begin with. Yet then there was about two and a half weeks when he did not have any contact with this person. He said in that time everything escalated and in her imagination his offense grew. His comment about it is what took me by surprise. I won’t use his colorful language here yet basically he said, “She must have spent all her time thinking about it, until it just magnified into something huge. Now I’m a ______”

Certainly that is what happens when offenses are given and/or taken that are not dealt with in a timely manner, they grow. Looking inside ourselves for keys to our conflict help us to minimize conflict and awareness how we create it.

Conflict certainly comes from inside, not outside of us. It is not what happens as much as it is about how we interpret what happens and what buttons are pushed that create conflict. If we know this we can begin to look within us for ultimate healing. You see if my conflict is your fault, then I cannot do anything about it, -I am a victim. Yet, if my conflict is mine, I have the power to create it and have the power to let it go. I am accountable for my results.

That is rather simplistic, getting rid of conflict is not always so easy. In order to stop conflict in it’s tracks here are some recommendations. 1) As far as is possible, live at peace with everyone. Give nobody reason to seek conflict, be a person of integrity. 2) Be willing to handle conflict with a face to face meeting quickly, don’t let it get magnified in your mind or in another’s. 3) Be tender-hearted realizing that people have conflict buttons in them that cause them real pain. Be patient with their unreasonableness. 4) Use conflict as a lesson to look deeply at what is driving you and where you are in need of healing.

To good health, relationships and healing for all,

BE (Being in Excellence)

When teaching martial arts we talk a lot about balance. If you are unbalanced you can easily lose your footing and take a fall or be knocked to the ground. This is not desirable. So physically good balance is important. The key to good balance physically is a strong core. Abdominal and back muscle strength leads to good balance. Crunches anyone?

Just as important is good mental balance with good healthy thoughts. Too much thought of self produces self absorption. Too much focus on possessions creates discontentment. Too much thought of past offenses creates bitterness. Too many thoughts that are pie-in-the-sky just make you an annoyance. Good emotional health comes from being in balance too. Having a balance of practical emotions that can respond to our environment, and hopeful, positive emotions that can keep us proactive in the present toward goals for our future.

To be spiritually balanced we must have connection with the spirit, yet also have connection with the people around us. Living in a monastery for a time might be good, but how would the world work if everyone disconnected from the world like this? To be relationally balanced we must have good boundaries with our relationships. We should be inter-dependent, working together, not dependant or independent in our relationships.

Having balance financially means wisely spending our money, yet not being so frugal that we become miserly and stingy. We need to feel the blessings that we have. We need to live a little and give a little. That takes a little cushioning in our budget.

These are some important principles of balance. One area I think that we also get out of balance in is in the area of character. All of us have personality and character traits that are of excellent value to us, and help us bring value to others. Yet even our good character traits need to be balanced.

Good character traits have polar opposites. Someone who is strong and confident can become arrogant and rigid, just as easy as someone who is humble and open can become weak and dependant. To be in balance we need both confidence and humility, strength and meekness. Someone who is highly principled yet lacks connection with people, can become self righteous, and judgmental. Someone who is involved and connected can become undisciplined and ineffective. Even our character needs balance.

As I look around I see a need for balance everywhere. How can I sustain better balance in these areas? I think being open to look at my own areas of imbalance instead of at other’s is my place to begin. When I am swinging through the emotional pendulums of life, somewhere in the middle is a balance. I find it in prayer and meditation. I find it in connection with my creator and in connection with others.

I find the areas of my life that need fine tuning in balance and allow them to be sanded, chiseled and refined. I pay attention to the results of my life that are not working. In this way I find an imbalance and try something else. I find a lesson even in the environmental things that happen to me and around me and the behaviors of others I do not like.

Excellence requires balance in all areas of life, which is not for the faint of heart. It’s a process and a wonderful journey. I haven’t arrived yet, just on the path.

To great travels,

BE