I learned something new this week from my son. He is twenty, not quite a babe, yet in some ways wise beyond his years. He was telling me of a situation in which he offended someone. It was pretty minor to begin with. Yet then there was about two and a half weeks when he did not have any contact with this person. He said in that time everything escalated and in her imagination his offense grew. His comment about it is what took me by surprise. I won’t use his colorful language here yet basically he said, “She must have spent all her time thinking about it, until it just magnified into something huge. Now I’m a ______”

Certainly that is what happens when offenses are given and/or taken that are not dealt with in a timely manner, they grow. Looking inside ourselves for keys to our conflict help us to minimize conflict and awareness how we create it.

Conflict certainly comes from inside, not outside of us. It is not what happens as much as it is about how we interpret what happens and what buttons are pushed that create conflict. If we know this we can begin to look within us for ultimate healing. You see if my conflict is your fault, then I cannot do anything about it, -I am a victim. Yet, if my conflict is mine, I have the power to create it and have the power to let it go. I am accountable for my results.

That is rather simplistic, getting rid of conflict is not always so easy. In order to stop conflict in it’s tracks here are some recommendations. 1) As far as is possible, live at peace with everyone. Give nobody reason to seek conflict, be a person of integrity. 2) Be willing to handle conflict with a face to face meeting quickly, don’t let it get magnified in your mind or in another’s. 3) Be tender-hearted realizing that people have conflict buttons in them that cause them real pain. Be patient with their unreasonableness. 4) Use conflict as a lesson to look deeply at what is driving you and where you are in need of healing.

To good health, relationships and healing for all,

BE (Being in Excellence)