In reading “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,” by Debbie Ford this week I am realizing that one of my purposes and those of my clients is to live all of the authentic parts of ourselves. This means embracing the things about me that I try to deny and repress. Sometimes I am selfish, greedy and domineering. These are traits that I have as a human. We all have positive and negative traits. It is in denying our negative traits that we give them power over us.

We hide them always wanting to be good… they flair up without us wanting them too. Then we feel bad about not being able to control our negative traits showing. We feel bad about who we are. When we embrace these traits and acknowledge them as a part of our authentic selves we can thrive in wholeness.

Today is Peace Day at school and a fine young senior gave a speech about his commitment to being a peace maker. I was so pleased that he recognized the wholeness in himself when he said that he doesn’t always have positive peace practices, but sometimes he chooses negative traits. He then acknowledged his goal of being a peace maker most of the time. I bet he will be a peacemaker more often because of his wholeness, rather than if he is fragmented.

BE -whole

I have been pondering Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book, “The Power of Intention,” for a while now, since I read what he has to say about purpose. I believe he is absolutely correct, in fact, I think about it every day. In essence what he said was that the very fact that you are here means that you have a purpose. Nothing in the universe exists without a purpose. Pause and think on that.

Just the fact that I am here means that I have a purpose. How do I know this is so? That is what I am struggling with, it seems like a bit of circular reasoning, but I just know it is true. The fact that you are here means you have a purpose. You get to decide what that purpose is, what activities or ways of being most align with what your purpose is and what makes you feel the most fulfilled.

When a person knows their purpose, really knows what they are meant to be, and the vision they’re meant to do, choices are easy. Life becomes nearly effortless when we realize that in living our purpose all the resources we need are available to meet our every need. People, money, and opportunities align when we are aligned with our purpose.

BE -purposeful

John Wayne is quoted as saying, “Life is hard. It’s even harder when you’re stupid.” I would have to agree. When a person gets it into their head that they are stupid, or cannot learn, life get’s difficult indeed! It is imperative that students that learn differently, who may or may not be in special education classes, believe that they are smart and that they can learn.

Many of these kids carry the belief that they are stupid and therefore stop trying to learn. It generally is by the fourth grade that students who have learning disabilities start to give up. They have been teased and told they’re stupid so many times by their peers or have said it to themselves so often; it starts to become truth to them.

As adults we must be affirming the abilities our children have, and coaching students to challenge untrue beliefs.

BE -affirming

Just because I’m a coach, doesn’t mean that the things I know, I can keep practicing 24/7. Recently I have been struggling with some relationship issues, so I got a bit off center in analyzing. When in this state I am not in my personal purpose. Noticing the state I was in, I used my toolbox and again became grounded in my purpose. This reminded me why having a personal purpose is so important to me.

Having a personal purpose helps me to stay focused on what I am doing now that aligns with my purpose and stay out of reaction to the environment around me. Events outside of my control are always happening, with my kids, with the community and in life. What I can always take control of is my response. When I am grounded in my personal purpose I am much more effective in responding in a conflict with a win/win response.

When grounded in my purpose I am much more patient, calm and positive. When I am grounded in my circumstance I can react impatiently and rashly. I create greater results that are aligned with my values, my vision and my purpose when I am grounded in my purpose. My life is greatly enhanced by being grounded in purpose. Yesterday I met with a lady to design a purpose workshop in the Palm Desert/ La Quinta Area. If you are interested in taking on a personal purpose or further clarifying your purpose or vision please join us… it will be fun!

BE -Purposeful

Listening to an interview with Montel Williams this morning I was struck by his resiliency. Montel was diagnosed with MS seven years ago and has begun LIVING with MS, while not letting MS dominate his life. He is a model for others who have struggles to overcome both physically and emotionally. His new book has many tips on emotionally owning your own happiness.

My biggest take away from this interview in Success Magazine’s CD companion was the thought that “I alone own who I am.” Montel said this about creating his life, and living his life with the events he has been given. He is a personal example that it is not what happens to us in life it is our response to what happens that governs how it will impact our life.

Montel says that he doesn’t care what people think of him, only what he thinks… he’ll worry what other people think about who he is later down the line. Right now he is in ownership of all that he is and does with his life from his radio shows, books and TV shows and he chooses to be an inspiration to others. For Montel it has been a journey of self discovery, and wellness practices that impact the world. Check out his books on wellness at Amazon.com

 BE –in ownership of who you are.

Welcome to Excellence Art Learning Systems, Purpose and Vision Coaching Site. This site is dedicated to coaching, special education, self defense and the PEP (Personal Excellence Program) program, taught by the Tao of Shaolin Fraternity, a group of senior black belt instructors passing along the values of excellence.

Here you will find information about finding your life purpose, the coaching relationship, single parenting, parenting special needs students, working with schools in special education, self defense in domains including: Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relational, and financial. Click on categories that are of interest to you.

Subscribe to this site to get weekly information on these topics in the upper right hand corner of the page. We hope to see your frequent visits and have opportunity to partner with you in what you are about in the life you were meant to live.

Blessings,

BE (Being in Excellence)

I woke to clouds on the horizon this morning. As the sun began to rise it threw multiple colors in the sky, and it was just beautiful. Having children with learning disabilities sometimes looks like clouds on the horizon. We can tend to worry about how they will be successful in school and in life. When we wait for the sun we notice that our children’s differences are beautifully colorful. Each individual has a gift. Sometimes these gifts mean that we learn differently.

Embrace the gifts and the unique colors of your student this morning. Forget about disabilities and notice the abilities and possibilities that exist in and through your special student. He deserves to know that you embrace these so he can too! Empower your student to accept and honor their uniqueness today and everyday.

 BE -colorful

How can movement help our children develop brain function?

As I was going through my martial arts training, it often intrigued me that the children in the program seemed to not only get better grades, but also have better thinking skills. This sat in my mind for a few years and I would occasionally see an article in a magazine about movement and brain development in children. Yet I never saw any real research.

 Then I started having my own children (I have four boys). As I watched them play and saw them develop I developed some theories of my own, regarding movement and their development. I saw them as definitely related. Just look what small children instinctively do. They move, run jump and it is very hard to sit still in desks. Even babies wave their hands when they are awake. They hate being confined in seats, they love to move.

 Later more articles came out suggesting this relationship between exercise, movement and brain function and development. So I looked for them and read everything I ran across. Also, being a musician it was known that musical skill and mathematical skill go hand in hand. As life progressed and we decided to take our little Kitchen Karate Class out into the real world and open a school, I learned even more.

The research started pouring in, people were talking about Kinesiology, Brain Gym and rhythm to help with brain development. At I time when we see kids more and more sedentary, we get more and more evidence that they need to move to develop. Martial Arts training turns out to work on brain development in several ways. One is rhythm. We do warm-up strikes in cadence and with rhythm. The second is cross lateral motions. When one works the cross laterally, meaning across the body, the brain builds better cross lateral connections across the corpus callosum in the brain.

The other ways in which martial arts specifically helps is with focused control. We practice focus. Lastly, I want to point out that every child needs physical exercise, far beyond what they are getting in school, for proper brain development and function. If they had more, I don’t think we would see as many diagnoses of ADD and ADHD and hyper activity. Some of these kids just need lots and lots of physical motion.

I hope this peaks your interest in movement and brain development. It is fascinating to read about and see in practice. I hope you will support our plans to integrate and educational excellence center and a martial arts school. This is our vision for a better community.

Blessings,

BE -moving, yes you too!

It used to be that chewing gum and talking in class were the biggest problems facing teachers. Now we hear about pregnancy and gang violence. As an educator I find that this is a problem, yet it is not the biggest problem facing teachers. The biggest problem that I see facing not only teachers, but also parents currently is passive defiance. That is when a student is given an assignment and they just refuse to do it. They do not necessarily create problems in the classroom. They just refuse to do their assignments.  

Teachers and parents deal with this all of the time. We encourage, we nag, yet without consequences this falls on deaf ears. There is no consequences for many of these students. They have video games, entertainment, phones and all kinds of privileges that parents can take away for leverage. Yet teachers have less and less leverage, and little that is not punitive. Frankly, many of our students not only do not care about their grades, they do not seem to care if they graduate.

As adults we have much more power than we own, we buy a lot of leverage for these kids. We are not required to provide entertainment, rides and phone priviledges to kids.We can start by owning that leverage and being the adults we mean to be. Say what you expect once clearly and walk away, give a consequence once without a long explanation. Kids get it!

Blessings,

BE -adult

A friend and I were talking about manners the other day and she told me about a Farsi saying in her culture. “Who taught you to be polite?” The answer is: “Those who were impolite to me.”  I wonder what life would be like if every time someone irritated, hurt, slighted, or offended me I learned a lesson for myself about manners.

BE -learning