Book Update

Thanks for your votes!

Propelling Practices has advanced to the next round in the contest. If you have not voted yet, please go and vote for this book. I appreciate your confidence in me and in my work:

BE- contributing

Chocolate? Flowers? Intentions

I set an intention to attract some chocolate for Valentine’s Day.

There was no reason to expect that I would actually get chocolate as a gift, with no Valentine in sight. I just expected it would happen and sure enough a pound of See’s Candy found its way to me This Valentine’s Day and was the delight of my day.

Setting an intention is clearly deciding and declaring what experience I want to have or create. When I set an intention and then let go of what I expect it to look like, I can really enjoy what unfolds to meet that intention, appreciate the people and experiences that happen around my intention and allow myself to be amazed by the result.

In contrast, an expectation sets me up to be let down, projecting what I want in the future to have things “my way.” The problem for me is that “my way” does not always create the best experiences for myself and others long term. It is more of a short term sense of what pleases me and benefits me, and is selfish. Expectations set up our relationships for disappointment and failure because of inherent selfishness.

Setting intentions sets me up to be delighted with amazing serendipities that show up in my life. Try it!

BE -intentional

Vote for My Upcoming Book

Hi Friends,

Propelling Practices is finally on it’s way to being not just an idea, dream or inspiration, but a published book. I have entered it into a contest and would like you to go and vote for it!

Thanks for reading, thanks for watching, for your confidence in me and my work.

Also, please send a link and a request on my behalf to your friends and family asking for their vote as well. This is a wonderful project that I feel privileged and honored to bring to the world. It is my deepest gift of contribution and love.

BE -voting =-)

Parenting: Role, Function or Relationship?

Parenting as a role is part of an identity and as so, it becomes important as a part of who I am. Am I a good parent? How do I know? What do I constantly have to do to re-affirm my good parenting? Am I doing my part in this role and how does this role affirm who I am? My role is to know what is best for my child and make sure they get it. My role continues with my adult children, who need mothering.

Parenting as a function is doing the work of a parent. I like to say it is loosening here, tightening here, training here, encouraging and comforting over here. If it is a function, and not tied to my identity, parenting becomes a flexible response to what is needed instead of doing what someone expects. It leaves space and room for authentic relationship between the parent and child.

The relationship a parent has with a child, should always be one of honor. Children are to honor their parents, yet parents also should honor their children, recognizing the child’s right to choose. I teach my child to make choices and then trust that she will learn, just as I have, to make generally good decisions with some mistakes. My identity is neither tied up in sorting out what she should do, nor in telling her what to do. I honor the relationship, by noticing that she is a whole, complete and working human being.

For more on the topic of the parent role, check out, Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth.

BE -responsive

Empty Hands


San Jose Airport Parking Mural

I’ve been dreaming of hands lately, just empty hands. Interestingly I drove by the parking structure of San Jose’s Airport and low I spotted giant hands all over the structure. I hope epiphanies make you stop and think too, I was brought back to an excerpt of a piece I wrote about a few years ago: Transcending Fear.

Karate, according to Terrence Webster-Doyle, as his book is so aptly named is ‘the art of empty self.’[1] One learns through Karate to empty oneself of fear by the discovery of self and by the emptying of oneself. The emptied self is the loving self and the self without an agenda.

Karate literally means “empty hands.” This can mean many things to people. To most it means that the hands hold no weapon. If we look deeper, the hands hold nothing, so there is nothing to take from them. The hands are empty and thus open. If you watch someone in anger and fear, their hands clench into fists. Closed hands are for fighting, defending or hoarding. Open, empty hands are for receiving, giving and embracing. Thus the deeper meaning of Karate is the empty, open hands of giving and receiving fully with no fear of scarcity or lack.

[1]Karate: The Art of Empty Self, Webster-Doyle, Terrence  ©1989

The Receipe

Eckhart Tolle has me contemplating my ego and sense of the word “I” lately while I read his book, A New Earth. Not believing in accidents I was pleasantly surprised to run right into a giant model of DNA in a local science museum made of cookbooks. I laughed out loud as I contemplated all of the words in all of those, floor to ceiling, cook books spiraling upwards and thought to myself, “I” am even more than all those words in all of those books, all written on a strand of DNA which is my recipe.”

Then I contemplated words and the limits that come with words. Being is so much bigger than words. Relationships are so much more than the words we exchange. Feelings and beliefs are so much larger than explanation. For a person such as myself who depends on words, I am surprised when I fail to convey my essential message and find myself misunderstood. It shouldn’t surprise me, only that I continue to believe I can convey what I mean to others through my words.

When I expect my word message to get through untarnished by beliefs I am setting myself up for disappointment. Then also, when I take my message too seriously, I’m also setting myself up. My message is just a broader sense of me and mine, and really will land only where it is supposed to and it is really okay. When it is important, people seek to understand with more than words.

BE -enlarging