Often, an outstanding opportunity will make its first appearance in the form of a heartbreaking disappointment. By accepting that the disappointment is for the best, you gain entrance to the full power of the opportunity. ~Ralph Marston
Eckhart Tolle has me contemplating my ego and sense of the word “I” lately while I read his book, A New Earth. Not believing in accidents I was pleasantly surprised to run right into a giant model of DNA in a local science museum made of cookbooks. I laughed out loud as I contemplated all of the words in all of those, floor to ceiling, cook books spiraling upwards and thought to myself, “I” am even more than all those words in all of those books, all written on a strand of DNA which is my recipe.”
Then I contemplated words and the limits that come with words. Being is so much bigger than words. Relationships are so much more than the words we exchange. Feelings and beliefs are so much larger than explanation. For a person such as myself who depends on words, I am surprised when I fail to convey my essential message and find myself misunderstood. It shouldn’t surprise me, only that I continue to believe I can convey what I mean to others through my words.
When I expect my word message to get through untarnished by beliefs I am setting myself up for disappointment. Then also, when I take my message too seriously, I’m also setting myself up. My message is just a broader sense of me and mine, and really will land only where it is supposed to and it is really okay. When it is important, people seek to understand with more than words.
Life is always giving us lessons, generally in the disguise of pain and suffering. It helps to notice the learning in the midst of the pain, since awareness can lessen both the duration and severity of our despondency as well as capture the learning. Though we do not like repeating our lessons, we also do not like suffering, so generally we appease our pain by seeking pleasure or distraction. Alcohol, drugs, TV, sex, food, gossip and activity keep us not only from feeling the anguish yet also from the awareness.
That is where the better question can assist us. The “Why” question keeps us spinning in our mind sorting out details. This tends to victimize us, magnifying the distress because we cannot fully know why with certainty. When we ask ourselves why something happens, we are usually comparing it to what we wanted to happen and what would have been a better result for us. This keeps us from fully accepting what is and thus keeps us unhappy.
The better question is “How.” How did I create this? How does this serve me? How do I go forward with my learning from here? How can I accept this without bitterness? This is the more courageous path. It is not easy to face these questions, yet they will allow us to rise above our circumstances and make gains in our enlightenment.
This is a wonderful video to watch as a morning affirmation setting the day on a intentional course that is positive and attractive.
The last month or so I have been resisting some things in my life that I am not happy about. How this shows up in my body is physical symptoms in my digestion and in tension that causes back aches. This of course creates greater resistance and irritation with everyday chores and responsibilities. Today I was reminded of the principal of surrender… one of those life lessons that comes up… and the principal of higher good.
I watched a short film called “A Monk’s Awakening” from Spiritual Cinema Circle, which reminded me never to surrender to fear. Never run after anything or try to escape anything is the lesson of the film. Of course if the universe isn’t timely… it also isn’t subtle. I got confirmation of this message in a Ralph Marston message today about seeing the positive possibilities that always come from what we think may be a negative and a message from the Universe to just be who I am and stop striving.
Hmmm… Uncle already! I get it… so here it goes… I am happy and blessed to have lost one financial support… I can now be open for many others! I am happy to have my son making his own choices and having the opportunity to live the consequences!
Where can you surrender to what is and see the blessing of a situation that at first blush… seems negative? What messages is the universe sending? What in your physical body shows up? What awakening and opening is available to you?
Happy Valentine’s Day! Today, I was reminded of a Christmas story that bears remembering on this day of love. Remember the little drummer boy? He had no gift to bring the infant king and so he felt ashamed at missing the opportunity to give… until he realized he had his drum and his gift became playing his best! He played his best song… He played it the most enthusiastically he ever played before! His gift was his best… a gift of himself. Risking rejection, he played his heart out!
What if giving our best is all that is required of us to give the best gift possible? Can you give better than that? If I know my purpose, and I am living it to my fullest, giving my best me to the world around me, is there anything of more value that I have? I think not. So many times I find myself holding back on people. I don’t say what I want to say, I am content smiling. When I enthusiastically play my best song, live my purpose and give my best, when I risk rejection and throw my heart out, I connect with others! I make a difference! And so do you!
You have something amazing in you to give to others! You have a great purpose in being here and a gift to give! You are magnificent! You are amazing! Chocolates, flowers, gifts… they are all nice, and giving yourself… That’s giving your best and will make the most difference to your sweetheart today… and to the world.
BE- your best you!
It is my pleasure to invite you to Leadership 2010 – San Antonio Texas!
Here is some information on Leadership…
What Leadership takes is to have a BHAG which is a Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal!
…What’s your BHAG!
…What’s your dream!
What I can tell you about leadership is that it is excellent fun and adventure with people you can really relate to… other leaders and winners in their fields… and the experience of creating amazing results all in the context of fabulous leadership, coaching and teamwork!
It will change your life… that is my promise. You get training in the core distinctions of leadership in an experimental hands-on seminar, then 10 weeks of individual and team coaching to accomplish a team service project to internalize the key distinctions of leadership and create an experience of what is possible with vision, leadership and teamwork.
After 9 weeks you come back for more training and internalization of what leadership distinctions were learned/ created and prepare for what is next in your life, and how to use this in preparing for a future… living the distinctions of leadership and the art of amazing possibilities.
Dates: Jan 16-17 weekend 1 and March 20-21
Leaders don’t wait! Check out these fabulous, experienced coaches at Resource Realizations: http://www.resourcerealizations.com/products/seminars/leadership/coaches/
We can help get you to your dreams, accomplish those BHAGs, creat a life you love and get over the rest!
I look forward to being with you all soon in San Antonio!
Leslie Gunterson C.P.C.
2010 Leadership Coach
…change it! If you don’t wake up in the morning looking forward to your day then it matters not what your doing… in my mind, that’s not success. What can you do that you absolutely love? What jump starts your passion? What can you get excited about? That’s your dream and vision.
What small steps can you take to move in the direction of creating the life you really life? Why small steps? Because each step we take toward something we love is giving us emotions such as hope and something to look forward to. The joy is in the journey creating something we love long before we get there.
Likewise, waking up to dread and hopelessness robs us of hope and something to look forward to. Our day is lifeless, boring and more like and existence than I life. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the length. I have lived both of these scenarios and can leave you with this blessing…
…may you live all of the days of your life!
Barriers to performance hold us back from being who we want to be, doing what makes us happy and having what we want in our lives. When we recognize our barriers then we can move through them. The first step in change is awareness: seeing what is holding us back. Next we get to identify how this behavior still works for us, then we can decide what possibilities are open to us if we change it and choose something else.
Our barriers allow us to stick with our stories, excuses, and justifications and the same results. We all have our stories. Einstein told us that the definition of insanity is doing the same things expecting different results. Barriers show up in our bodies (stomach, head, nerves), in our language (should, Have to, always, never, could), in our attitudes (complaining, apathy), in negative self talk and in our behaviors.
Take a few moments and look at the list and notice which barriers show up in your life.
Playing the Con, exaggerating, manipulating,
Self-righteousness, feeling superior, judgmental
Playing the Victim, accusing, blaming
Feeling Regret, worthless
Doubt, self-doubt, doubting others
Resentment, revenge motivated
“Trying” never fully committed
Lacking Follow-through, breaks promises
Cynicism, chronic mistrust
Resignation, giving up
Hopelessness, worrying/hoping about future or the past
Excusing, explaining, defending, justifying
Some ideas to ponder – What is my pay off? How does it support me? Do I still want it in my life? What resource state can I choose instead?
Example: confusion is one of my favorite barriers to performance, when I am in confusion I do not have to take action therefore I get to blame others for my situation. I don’t want this, since I am not happy when I am confused and a victim. A resource state is to focus on what I want and take one step toward that today.
In reading “The Dark Side of the Light Chasers,” by Debbie Ford this week I am realizing that one of my purposes and those of my clients is to live all of the authentic parts of ourselves. This means embracing the things about me that I try to deny and repress. Sometimes I am selfish, greedy and domineering. These are traits that I have as a human. We all have positive and negative traits. It is in denying our negative traits that we give them power over us.
We hide them always wanting to be good… they flair up without us wanting them too. Then we feel bad about not being able to control our negative traits showing. We feel bad about who we are. When we embrace these traits and acknowledge them as a part of our authentic selves we can thrive in wholeness.
Today is Peace Day at school and a fine young senior gave a speech about his commitment to being a peace maker. I was so pleased that he recognized the wholeness in himself when he said that he doesn’t always have positive peace practices, but sometimes he chooses negative traits. He then acknowledged his goal of being a peace maker most of the time. I bet he will be a peacemaker more often because of his wholeness, rather than if he is fragmented.